You know who has had a tough time adjusting to life in Côte d’Ivoire? My hair.

My hair is complicated – not in the styling of it, but in its mere existence.

When I was young, there were no hair control products unless you count DEP, which was basically glue marketed for tortured teens. I tried to work with that, but my childhood is a photo chronicle of bad hair days and even worse haircuts. It wasn’t until I was a teenager in the 80s that someone smart (aka Paul Mitchell) realized that people with curly/frizzy hair desperately needed help.

Since that time my hair has been resting easy. It’s not to say it has been perfect, but I’ve dialed in the products and techniques to keep it under control and looking decent. Then Côte d’Ivoire happened. Yikes.

Things started going sideways almost immediately. The average temperature of 88º with the resting 99% humidity rate brings me back to the 70s (and not in the fantastic bell bottom/Dr. Scholl’s kind of way).

The first problem is that my hair doesn’t dry here. If I wash it, it stays damp for hours. This does not help the frizz problem, no matter how much product I slather on it.

The second problem is that the faithful set of products I brought from the US is useless. No amount of anti-paraben, sulfate-free product can tame this mane in a meaningful way. Apparently I need all of the parabens and sulfates, but would those even help?

The last problem is that nobody here has hair like mine, so the products on the store shelves do not offer much hope.

After months of failed attempts to make my hair look decent, I gave up. I just put it up and wear a headband like everyone else here. End of story, I thought.

However, at the end of class one day recently, a student approached me to tell me that she had recently started a business with her sister. When I asked her what sort of business, she pulled out a hair cream container and told me it would help me. While trying not to be flustered that my hair challenges were so apparent, she told me she would sell me some of her cream for only 2,000 CFA (about $3.50). I figured that $3.50 was a small price to pay for relief. Could this product help?

Only after I purchased it, did she reveal that she and her sister made it in their kitchen sink. The product’s name is Cheveux Pro Max (Hair Pro Max). Putting the words “pro” and “max” together here seems to be a common marketing strategy in Côte d’Ivoire. It works for almost anything.

Later on, at my house, I opened the jar. I’m sure this is an excellent product for someone, but the first couple of times I tried it, my hair was like an overdressed salad, since the main ingredient is shea butter.

I’ve given up again. I’m sticking with the headband.